Monday, February 23, 2009

Eye-Popping Quotes From the World of Politics

While reading through the news articles on Fox today, there were so many sentences and quotes that caught my attention, I couldn't choose any one subject to write about! So here's a list of quotes and comments from or about our politicians and their escapades on our behalf in Washington DC this week. The quoted headlines are in BOLD and any subsequent quote to explain the headline is in italics. My own little commentary on these headlines follows in regular print...often permeated with exclamation marks.

Read this with a soothing cup of coffee nearby and don't forget to hone your sense of humor, too. It will help alleviate the disbelief and disdain that is bound to overcome you as you read.

1. After Passing $787B Stimulus Bill, Congress Still Has $410B Spending Bill on Agenda: That's right. They still have to decide what to spend on their REGULAR budget to keep the government running. "When lawmakers return Monday from a weeklong Presidents Day recess, they will have only two weeks to pass a $410 billion spending bill designed to keep most of the federal government operating for the rest of the fiscal year.Lawmakers delayed voting on spending bills for the fiscal year that began Oct. 1 because then-President Bush indicated that he would veto most of them."

Bring back Bush!! Enough said.

2. When lawmakers return Monday from a weeklong Presidents Day recess... I had to bring that sentence to the forefront. Read it again: congress got a whole WEEK to celebrate President's Day! My husband didn't even get one day. What in the world did they need a week to celebrate President's Day for?! OK. Gotta swig some joe...the temperature's rising...where's my sense of humor going already?!

3. Help Wanted in Interior to Spend Stimulus Funds: "The Interior Department intends to hire a stimulus czar to oversee spending of the agency's portion of the $787 billion economic recovery package, raising speculation that other departments will follow suit. The new position -- which will not be paid with stimulus money -- will likely be the first new job to be created by the department in its efforts to jumpstart the economy. When asked how much the position would pay, an Interior spokesman told it had not been decided yet."

Ahem. They make a point of saying that the new position will not be paid with stimulus money. Anyone else find that hilarious? Like, there is money other than tax-payer money to pay for these "new" czar positions? Oh man. I need a Twinkie. A cup o' coffee just ain't enough. Aaccckkk.

4.Obama Considers Lifting Federal Ban on Stem Cell Funding: "Under President George W. Bush, federal money for research on human embryonic stems cells was limited to those stem cell lines that were created before Aug. 9, 2001."

Again: Bring back Bush! This one really frosts me considering that adult stem cells are the only cells that have shown they can be trusted to grow or develop the results needed or necessary for a specific outcome. And adults can give permission for their stem cells to be used for their own health needs. Isn't it enough that we literally slaughter thousands of innocent "embryos" already for birth control, product use, and other silly and selfish reasons? It's as though those of us who have made it past the embryonic stage of development and have been blessed to be BORN, can't wait to turn around and cannibalize our future citizens to suit our own immediate needs. Ugh. I need an antacid tablet. Quick.

5. U.S. State Department Issues Travel Alert for Mexico: "The alert does not recommend staying away from the country or any particular part of it, but advises American to stay away from prostitution and drug-dealing areas."

Consider yourselves warned, any of you sterling American citizens who plan to go to Mexico for your drugs or prostitution needs. (Can you hear me guffawing?!) Slllluuurrrrppp. Ahhh. I needed that sip. Now where's my tissue so I can wipe these tears of laughter from my eyes...whoo boy. (And by the way, I copied that little bit exactly--I didn't leave the "s" off of "American".)

6. U.S. Officials Outraged at U.N. Over Hamas Letter to Obama: "U.S. officials are furious with the United Nations for its role in Hamas' attempt to enlist U.S. Sen John Kerry to transfer a letter from the Palestinian militant group to President Obama during Kerry's trip to the Middle East, an official source told FOX News. The incident also has raised security concerns over how much Hamas knew about Kerry's travel plans." mean, the UN might have an agenda that does NOT match the agenda of the United States? Wow. That just floors What news! (Insert sounds of dripping sarcasm here--maybe a gag or two.)

"In addition, a U.S. official said there were security issues with the letter. The official who spoke to FOX News said there is concern that Hamas had advance notice that Kerry was visiting, which may raise issues of trust with the U.N. on future diplomatic trips."

Duh. Please, somebody stop my eyeballs from being permanently rolled backward. I don't know how many more headlines I can take!

7. Handful of Governors May Refuse Federal Unemployment Benefits: "Some GOP governors say new rules on unemployment benefits would hurt their states so they aren't going to accept a portion of the $787 billion recovery and reinvestment act signed into law this week."

"The unemployment insurance reform, if you will, would require the state to pay people who are not willing to take a full-time job," Barbour told FOX News, saying his state is not going to expand benefits to part-time workers. "We're not going to change that. ... We're going to give up about $50 million of federal money." (Mississippi Republican Gov. Haley Barbour)

There's so much in this article, that you're just gonna have to break down and go read it for yourself, but here's a particularly telling comment from a govenor who disagrees with Barbour and other govenors who expressed this same problem:

"But Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm, a Democrat, said she'll be happy to take whatever cash Sanford and others reject. Also in line with an open hand are Republican Govs. Charlie Crist of Florida and Arnold Schwarzenegger of California."

And how about this nice comment:

"On Saturday, Democrats claimed that governors who turn down money from are "fringe" politicians eager to score political points. 'All of us are committed to working with President Obama to pull our nation's economy out of the ditch that George W. Bush ran it into,' Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley said at the Democratic Governors Association press conference on Saturday. 'If some of the fringe governors don't want to do that, they need to step aside and not stand in the way of the nation's interests.'"

Here's a concept: How about just letting them govern their states the way they see fit, Mr. O'Malley?! Some people have a lot of nerve. SLURP. SLURP. SLURP.

Sheesh. I need a new pot of coffee...and where is that box of Twinkies...must be in the cupboard somewhere...I wonder if the Obama administration has some money put aside in their "stimulus package" for antacids to help us poor citizen's digest their stimulating antics each morning?


Catrina Bradley said...

Uh huh, that's why I quit reading the news. Have another twinkie, dear. :)

Patty Wysong said...

oh. my. LoL--are there any twinkies left? They'd taste better than these headlines!!

(btw--LOVE that little graphic! When I saw him somewhere else he needed a bar of soap. *roll* This one is wonderful!! LoL)

Joanne Sher said...

Unbelievable!!!! sssiiighhhh. I think you'd do better with ding dongs, personally! And I am SO proud of my wonderful liberal as all governor Granholm for spreading out that money wherever she can (uuuuggghhh!!!) eyeroll!

Sherri Ward said...

Thanks for sharing, and love the pic at the top! Definitely helped with the sense of humor. By the way, please stop by my blog for an award!