Thursday, February 21, 2013

10 Weird Things About Me

As I was unpacking groceries, I caught myself pulling far away from the paper bag as I reached in to lift out the contents. I stopped to think about why I do this. (The answer is number one on the list below.)

 All that pondering led to this post: 10 weird things about me. I bet you have some odd behavioral coping mechanisms, too. And I know that's what my odd foibles add up to: coping. Baring my soul here, and my oddball behaviors.
  1. I lean away from paper bags because, over the years, I've discovered I'm short enough to get paper cuts ON MY LIPS, if I don't. Yes. And heaven forbid I lose my ability to communicate just because my lips hurt when I talk.
  2. I hate oatmeal. It is slimy and sticks on you after you eat it. Not a sticks-to-your-ribs kind of thing, but sticks ON your skin. No matter how hard I try not to let any oats escape the bowl, I always find a stray gummy oat somewhere on my arm after gagging down oatmeal. For that reason, I only eat oats raw. In cookies. With chocolate chips.
  3. I have to smooth the blankets and sheets when I crawl into bed. No wrinkles. Every night. And since I am a night owl, my long-suffering husband has learned to deal with me padding around the king bed re-tucking the sheets and blankets on his side, as he sleeps, before I get into my side. I circle more than once, tucking and pulling and smoothing. Like a dog trying to get comfy in his doggy bed. 
  4. If I find a human hair on anything while eating, I am instantly not hungry and will not be hungry for hours. I have a strong hair gag reflex mixed with strong memory recall. Just thinking about it very long can make me gag. I could use that aversion as a diet aid, but then I think I would die of starvation. There is no middle ground with hair on food for me.
  5. I can only buy candles with food smells: flower smells will give me a migraine.Certain perfumes, air fresheners  and plastic bags will make me sick with nausea and migraines, too. It's all in the scent.
  6. When I see white chocolate bunnies, I have a bad flashback to an Easter from childhood. White chocolate is a LIE from the pits of Ad Hades. There is nothing chocolate about it, and devouring an entire white chocolate bunny on your way to Sunday school leaves an oily slightly cod liver oil taste on the tongue. Along with a roiling tummy later. Trust me on this one.
  7. I have a weird fascination about fruit flies. Ever since I had to anesthetize my group of vestigial winged fruit flies for genetics class, I have wanted to try that again, There is nothing more funny than spying with a microscope on a fruit fly as it awakens from anesthesia. They actually rub their teeny tiny eyes.
  8. I would love to have a powerful microscope at home. I love microbiology and it was the most fun I ever had while studying science. I wonder sometimes if my draw to homeschool our son was nothing more than a powerful desire to play with science at home. 
  9. If people talk about gross things at the table, I will not be able to finish my meal. But I love to sit and watch medical programs with all the gory details.
  10. A man with long fingernails makes me feel queasy. It is so wrong. And gross. I can't watch a male guitarist pluck his strings using his un-trimmed nails. I have to shut my eyes or I will never hear the music, just see the claws. Pluck. Pluck. Pluck. I SO want to wrestle him to the ground, clip those nails and hand him a guitar pick.
Wow. Reading back over this list, knowing there are hundreds more I could have written, I realize I am one odd lady. Odd, but fun. I hope.


dandelionfleur said...

I am soooo with you on 4, 8, 9, 10. #1 cracked me up!

Dee Yoder said...

I'm glad there's another soul out there who understands my odd eccentricities. :)

Stephen T. McCarthy said...

Ha! This was a fun read - glad I clicked my way over here on a whim.

I was just posting a comment on Arlee Bird's 'Tossing It Out' blog, and to the right of the comment window I was typing in, I could see that image of you with your face painted. For some reason, it kept drawing my eyes to it (probably that bright blue color).

So when I got done typing my comment to Lee, I clicked on your blog link and came here to read this.

I guess I have my share of eccentricities as well, but several of yours were quite amusing. I especially liked the one about getting paper cuts on your lips while removing items from a shopping bag! Ha! That made me GOL (Guffaw Out Loud).

The oatmeal one was amusing also. I remember when my Brother was a little kid that he was such a messy eater he'd have to use his napkin on his face AND on his hair. There was always macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes, etc. clinging to his hair.

~ D-FensDogg
'Loyal American Underground'

Dee Yoder said...

Hey, thanks for popping over, Stephen, to read about about my quirky ways. :) Yes, I would guess we all have many little oddities. Doesn't it make you wonder how we come up with those over the years? I mean, we start out as pure babes--no weird tricks...and then, boom...we find all kinds of things to "prefer". But that's what makes people fun!

Joanne Sher said...

Too fun and FUNNY! Love that odd lady.

Yvonne Blake said...

Ha Ha Ha.... love this! (and you)